'The G-gar-goyle Was G-gate-crashing'--E Waugh

WASHINGTON Jan 31, 2006 — Cindy Sheehan, the mother of a fallen soldier in Iraq who reinvigorated the anti-war movement, was taken into custody by police in the House gallery Tuesday night just before President Bush's State of the Union address.

Police escorted Sheehan from the visitors' gallery above the House chamber after causing a disruption, said a Capitol Police official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because details of the incident were sketchy.

Rep. Lynn Woolsey, D-Calif., had invited Sheehan to the address as her guest.

Picasso in Joburg or Episcopal Charades

Three words...okay, first word. Run, leaving, going..what?! Go?

A Modest Proposal in Blitzburgh

'Tell 'em I said it'd be okay, hon.'

(KDKA) A pregnant Steelers fan is not letting the birth of her baby get in the way of the Super Bowl celebrations. She convinced her doctor to induce her early, so she'll be home in time to watch the Super Bowl with all of her friends. Baby Alexandria is just a blurry image of a baby right now, but she'll enter the world with a wardrobe of Steelers clothes, her birth scheduled around the Super Bowl.

“The Super Bowl is like Christmas,” said Carrie Welling, of New Kensington. “The fact that the Steelers are going - that's what you live for.” Click the title to pray with Coach Cowher and the team. Go to http://www.steelerbaby.com to hear the Steelerbaby lead the cheers.

"Cinnnndyyy...I told you not to come to the Club!

Hugo Chavez, his arm around Sheehan's shoulders, told a group of activists that Sheehan had told him that during Holy Week, in April, "she is going to put up her tent again in front of Mr. Danger's ranch."

"She invited me to put up a tent. Maybe I'll put up my tent also," Chavez said, to applause from activists invited to his weekly broadcast on the final day of the leftist World Social Forum.

A Tale of Lonely Trails

We left Denver on August twenty-second over the Moffet road and had a long wonderful ride through the mountains. The Rockies have a sweep, a limitless sweep, majestic and grand. For many miles we crossed no streams, and climbed and wound up barren slopes. Once across the divide, however, we descended into a country of black forests and green valleys. Yampa, a little hamlet with a past prosperity, lay in the wide valley of the Bear River. It was picturesque but idle, and a better name for it would have been Sleepy Hollow.--Zane Gray

Prince Charles Says We're Too Fat

The Prince of Wales warned the British people last night that they were in danger of becoming as obese as many Americans because they did not walk or cycle enough. The Prince, who has a fleet of chauffeur-driven cars and has rarely if ever been seen in public on the saddle of a bike, said: “We are perhaps not very far behind our American cousins in the ‘super-sizing epidemic’.” ...Ohhh, aye, Bonny Prince Charlie givin us the royal ken aboot life. A viddie es worth a thousand words, Mr. Windsor:

Summat else you'd like to share yer wisdom on, dipskite?

Sloane Rangers with Sticks

A SCHOOLGIRLS’ hockey match ended up in a St Trinian’s-style free-for-all when a posh public school took on a local comp. Tempers frayed when the Easthampstead Park players stunned rivals from £18,000-a-year Luckley Oakfield with “lots of horrid swearing”. Witnesses said Luckley’s coach yelled to her team to “sprint like hell” for their team bus. One watching mum said: “The Luckley girls looked like they were running for their lives as Easthampstead gave chase waving hockey sticks and jeering. “To be honest it was hilarious. The posh girls sped out of the gates back to their school. The umpire had to abandon the match. I doubt there will be a replay.”

Reno v Gonzalez Goes Off 3-2 in Vegas Odds

(AP)She's back. Former Attorney General Janet Reno faces off tonight in the squared circle versus Bush pol Alberto Gonzalez, even as the Judge Alito debate rivets the country. A Sony trinitron will be allowed in chambers during Sen John Kerry's one man 'filibuster.'
"I've been around the judicial fight game for a long time," said Sen Joe Biden, "and I think she'll be tough to beat." Conservative critics criticize the fight's timing as a diversion for the trouncing Democrats expect to take in the senate. Asked to comment, 'Hyannisport Mauler' Sen. Ted Kennedy quipped, "That is one hairy broad."
Manager and sparring partner Susan Estrich downplayed criticism about her fighter's age and medical condition. Veteran cutman James Frey will be joined in her corner by promoter Cindy Sheehan. "Only in America," Sheehan chirped, flashing her trademark V-sign.

Chimpolopolo Ha Chimpolopolo Ha!

Zambians beat Guineas!

Happy 250th, Brother Wolfgang!

"The wicked Queen of the Night, who persecutes the young hero and heroine, is Maria Theresia. The evil spirits who encourage her to do so are the Catholic Church. The all-wise, just and beneficial ruler Sarastro, punishing the wicked and protecting the good, is Joseph II, or any other well-meaning autocrat who protected the Freemasons."--W.A.M, click the title for the British Library's online diary

Many Mansions

So Peyton Manning died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around.
They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the
window."This house is yours for eternity, Peyton,' God said. "This is very special. Not everone gets a house up here.' Peyton felt special and walked up to his house. On his way up the to the porch, he noticed another house. It was a three story mansion with a
black-and-gold sidewalk, a 50-foot flagpole with an enormous Steelers flag and a Terrible Towel in every window.

Peyton looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but why does Ben Roethlisberger get a better house that me?" God chuckled and said, "Peyton, that's not Ben's house, It's mine. And those footprints...that's where I carried you for the whole 4th quarter when Troy picked off the pass."




Elijah went to get three large IC Lights and a kolboss sandwich.

PB Candidates Announced, Or..Love The Doomsday Device

"Zee Presiding Bishop is zee first among Equals, some more equal zan zee rest. I vill be in zee mineshaft. Wachet auf for zee Eschaton."

Hail, Hail, Freedonia, Land of the Free and Brave!

Cindy Sheehan to Hugo Chavez: "Well, I never!"
Chavez: "Maybe that's your problem."

Ming the Merciless

Brit girls Hit girls

BRITISH girls are among the most violent in the world, according to new research.
England and Scotland came fifth and sixth in a league table showing fighting among 11 to 15-year-old schoolgirls in 35 developed countries. In both countries, almost a third had been involved in at least one physical fight in the previous year. Concerns have been raised that Britain's "ladette" culture is fuelling such problems. Dr Candace Currie, the director of the child and adolescent health research unit at Edinburgh University and co-author of the report, said the high level of fighting among girls in the UK worried her.

Is That Like Kipling?

Work like a soul inspired
Till the battle of the day is won.
You may be sick and tired,
But you'll be a man, my son.

Will you remember the famous men
Who had to fall to rise again?
So take a deep breath...
Pick yourself up...
Dust yourself off
And start all over again.

"Beautiful Blondes Aren't Usually Philosophers"

The guy made a wry face and shook his head. "You'll...never do it"
My tongue ran over my lips without moistening them. "Do what?"
"Get her in time."
"Who?"
"The woman." His eyes closed and for a moment his face relaxed. "The woman Velda."
I sat there as if I were paralyzed; for a second totally immobilized, a suddenly frozen mind and body that had solidified into one great silent scream at the mention of a name I had long ago consigned to a grave somewhere. Then the terrible cold was drenched with an even more terrible wash of heat and I sat there with my hands bunched into fists to keep them from shaking.

"Ozymandiocese"

I MET a traveller from an antique land
Who said:—Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command 5
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is The Ozymandiocese, king of kings: 10
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

PB Shelley

"Shooting An Elephant"

GW Hunter in Zambia, 2004

"They were watching me as they would watch a conjurer about to perform a trick. They did not like me, but with the magical rifle in my hands I was momentarily worth watching. And suddenly I realized that I should have to shoot the elephant after all. The people expected it of me and I had got to do it; I could feel their two thousand wills pressing me forward, irresistibly. And it was at this moment, as I stood there with the rifle in my hands, that I first grasped the hollowness, the futility of the white man's dominion in the East. Here was I, the white man with his gun, standing in front of the unarmed native crowd--seemingly the leading actor of the piece; but in reality I was only an absurd puppet pushed to and fro by the will of those yellow faces behind. I perceived in this moment that when the white man turns tyrant it is his own freedom that he destroys. He becomes a sort of hollow, posing dummy, the conventionalized figure of a sahib. For it is the condition of his rule that he shall spend his life in trying to impress the "natives," and so in every crisis he has got to do what the "natives" expect of him. He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it. I had got to shoot the elephant. I had committed myself to doing it when I sent for the rifle. A sahib has got to act like a sahib; he has got to appear resolute, to know his own mind and do definite things. To come all that way, rifle in hand, with two thousand people marching at my heels, and then to trail feebly away, having done nothing--no, that was impossible. The crowd would laugh at me. And my whole life, every white man's life in the East, was one long struggle not to be laughed at."--George Orwell

S. George Orwell, Epistle to the Corinthians

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not money, I am become as a sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I couldremove mountains, and have not money, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not money, it profiteth me nothing. Money
suffereth long, and is kind; money envieth not; money vaunteth notitself, is not puffed up, doth not behave unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. . . . And now
abideth faith, hope, money, these three; but the greatest of these is money." d. 21/1/50.

Amazon Tribes Know Geometry

While high school freshmen sometimes struggle with parallelograms and the Pythagorean rule, people deep in the Amazon quickly grasp some basic concepts of geometry.

Although these indigenous tribes had never seen a protractor, compass, or even a ruler, a new study found they understood parallelism and right angles and can use distance, angles, and other relationships in maps to locate hidden objects. The finding suggests all humans, regardless of language or schooling, possess a core set of geometrical intuitions.

"While geometrical concepts can be enriched by culture-specific devices like maps, or the terms of a natural language, underneath this variability lies a shared set of geometrical concepts," said study co-author Elizabeth Spelke of Harvard University. "Those concepts allow adults and children with no formal education, and minimal spatial language, to categorize geometrical forms and to use geometrical relationship to represent the surrounding spatial layout."--Bjorn Carey, LiveScience.com

"The Chronic (what?!)-cles of Narnia"

Narnia Represent. Click for the mad notes by Parnell and Samberg. Verbum ab Mater!

Dick in for Zimbabwe, but Mpofu is forced to pull out

CAIRO, Jan 18 (Reuters) - Zimbabwe have called up defender Herbert Dick to replace the injured Dumisani Mpofu in their 23-man squad for the African Nations Cup finals, team officials said on Wednesday.

Mpofu, who played at the last Nations Cup finals in Tunisia, suffered a twisted knee in a friendly match in Morocco on Saturday and will not recover in time.

Please, Mr. Gable...

A Gay Easter?
Gay-rights groups make covert plans to crash the annual White House Easter egg roll.
by Mark D. Tooley, Weekly Standard
01/17/2006 2:40:00 PM
FOR OVER A HUNDRED YEARS children have gathered on the South Lawn of the White House on the Monday after Easter to roll Easter eggs across the yard and meet the Easter Bunny. Seemingly few (if any) Washingtonians have ever tried to exploit the annual White House Easter Egg Roll for political purposes. Until now. A church-based homosexual rights group is planning to crash the event with a "family visibility action" to spotlight their non-traditional families.

"On April 17, 2006, when the White House lawn is opened to families for the Annual Easter Egg Roll, imagine if the first 1,000 families onto the lawn were LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender] families," enthused a January 4 email alert from Soulforce. Once America sees the White House lawn awash in LGBT families, "there will be no going back," Soulforce promised.

NFL says referee erred on Polamalu's interception

Even we knew that, you big whoopsie!

Monday, January 16, 2006
By Ed Bouchette, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Upon further and further review, Troy Polamalu did intercept the ball.

The play stands, though, as an incomplete pass in the records.


Matt Freed, Post-Gazette
Troy Polamalu sees the ball drop to the ground after an apparent interception. However, the play was ruled an incomplete pass after Indianapolis challenged the call.
Click photo for larger image.


The NFL today admitted that referee Peter Morelli erred when he overturned Polamalu's interception in the fourth quarter of Sunday's AFC divisional playoff game between the Steelers and Colts in Indianapolis.

Polamalu intercepted Peyton Manning on a play that started with 5:33 left and the Steelers leading 21-10. Polamalu fell to the ground and rolled over, untouched. As he stood up to run, his left knee knocked the ball out of his arm. Polamalu fell on the ball and the officials ruled it an interception and a recovery of his own fumble.

Colts coach Tony Dungy challenged it, and after looking at replay, Morelli overturned it and called it an incompletion.

"Before he got up he hit it with his leg with his other leg still on the ground," Morelli told a pool reporter after the game. "Therefore, he did not complete the catch. And then he lost the ball. It came out and so we made the play an incomplete pass."

Wrong, his boss said today.

"The definition of a catch -- or in this case an interception -- states that in the process of making the catch a player must maintain possession of the ball after he contacts the ground," said Mike Pereira, NFL vice president of officiating, in a statement.

"The initial call on the field was that Troy Polamalu intercepted the pass because he maintained possession of the ball after hitting the ground. The replay showed that Polamalu had rolled over and was rising to his feet when the ball came loose. He maintained possession long enough to establish a catch. Therefore, the replay review should have upheld the call on the field that it was a catch and fumble."

Morelli further tried to explain his decision on Sunday when he said that Polamalu "never had possession with his leg up off the ground doing an act common to the game of football. He was losing it while his leg was still on the ground."

"Monny Crift and John Wayne Boyfwiends!"

In Provo, Utah...

British scientists are seeking permission to create hybrid embryos in the lab by fusing human cells with rabbit eggs. If granted consent, the team will use the embryos to produce stem cells that carry genetic defects, in the hope that studying them will help understand the complex mechanisms behind incurable human diseases.

"The fertility of rabbits is legendary," said Prof Shaw. "The most important thing is that with animal eggs, we have a much better chance of generating stem cells and if we wait for human eggs, it's going to be maybe a decade before we can do this. If we can use animal eggs, we could maybe have stem cells within one or two years," he added.

Meanwhile at Harvard's Porcine Club, DC Chapter

I get mean when I drink Tequila.

The Chair Recognizes the Creature from California

...Hydra had the body of a serpent and many heads of which one could never be harmed by any weapon, and if any of the other heads were severed another would grow in its place ...the stench from the Hydra's breath was enough to kill man or beast (in other versions it was a deadly venom). When it emerged from the swamp it would attack herds of cattle and local villagers, devouring them with its numerous heads. It totally terrorized the vicinity for many years.

Auf Wiedersehen, Isolde!

"Yes, m'lord...No, m'lord...Whatever you say, m'lord"

It was my slovo to help the prison Charlie. He was a great, burly boche bastard.

"Patch Wook for me, Sean Penn!"

Cindy reminded the audience that we all need to take responsibility for Iraq—as we elected the officials who ultimately allowed the invasion and occupation. We have the power to remove them from office. Cindy emphasized we must exit Iraq now to save precious lives. After expressing her support for a Dept. of Peace, Cindy concluded that she'd like to create a U.S. Dept. of History, with herself as the first secretary.

Actor Sean Penn added to the enthusiasm of the day by stressing that all of the nation's anti-war activism was taking hold and was starting to work—while admitting that the stress of living under the current administration was making it tough for him to quit smoking. Stating that he "was not a pacifist on the inside", he was moved to be one on the outside for the sake of his children and grandchildren's future. He said we have to fight for everything we have.

Back in Rhodesia

You’re a star-belly sneech
You suck like a leach
You want everyone to act like you
Kiss ass while you bitch
So you can get rich
But your boss gets richer off you

Well you’ll work harder
With a gun in your back
For a bowl of rice a day
Slave for soldiers
Till you starve
Then your head is skewered on a stake

Now you can go where people are one
Now you can go where they get things done
What you need, my son...

Is a holiday in cambodia
Where people dress in black
A holiday in cambodia
Where you’ll kiss ass or crack

And it’s a holiday in cambodia
Where you’ll do what you’re told
A holiday in cambodia
Where the slums got so much soul

"Chuck Nawwis! We breakin' your bawrs, bigguy!"

"Chuck Nawwis not rac-tose intor-a-runt. He sick of rac-tose shit. Ha! Ha! Hahaha!"

Working at the Carwash Blues

Well, I just got out of the county prison doin'
90 days for nonsupport
Tried to find me an executice position
but no matter how smooth I talk
They wouldn't listen to the fact that I was a genius
the man said we got all that we can use
Now I got them steadily deppressin', low-down mind-messin'
workin' at the carwash blues

Well, I should be sittin' in an air-conditioned
office in a swivel chair
Talkin' some trash to the secratary sayin'
(spoken) hey now mama come on over here
But still I'm stuck here rubbin' these fenders with a rag
and walkin' home in soggy old shoes
With them steadily deppressin', low-down mind-messin'
workin' at the car wash blues

You know a man of my ability
he should be smokin' on a big cigar
But till I get myself straight I guess I'll just have to wait
in my rubber suit rubbin' these cars

Well all I can do is shake my head, you might not believe that it's true
but workin' at this indoor Niagra falls is an undiscovered Howard Hughes
So baby, don't 'spect to see me with no double martini in any high-brow society news
cause I got them steadily deppressin', low-down mind-messin' workin' at the car wash blues

Steelers!

"Climb Ev'ry Mountain"

In den 30er Jahren des 20.Jahrhunderts versuchte insbesondere der deutsche Bergsteiger Willy Merkl zunächst 1932 in einer deutsch-amerikanischen Himalaya-Expedition (DAH) den Gipfel zu erreichen, scheiterte jedoch. Beim nächsten großangelegten Versuch im Jahre 1934 starb der Expeditionsteilnehmer Alfred Drexel schon beim Aufbau der Lager an einem Lungenödem. Später kamen die deutschen Bergsteiger Willy Merkl als Expeditionsleiter, Willo Welzenbach und Uli Wieland sowie mehrere Sherpas am Südostgrat des Berges auf über 7000 m im Schneesturm ums Leben, was zur Folge hatte, dass der Nanga Parbat durch die von den Nationalsozialisten gleichgeschaltete Presse zum "Schicksalsberg der Deutschen" ausgerufen wurde.

Bis Ende der 30er Jahre war ein Großteil der Deutschen Himalaya-Bergsteigerelite dem Berg zum Opfer gefallen. Allein während der großen Expedition von 1937 wurden 16 Menschen (sieben deutsche Bergsteiger und neun Sherpas) unter einer Lawine begraben. Die folgende, vorsichtigere Expedition von 1938 erreichte nicht die Höhe von 1934, dafür wurden die Leichen von Willy Merkl und des Sherpas Gay-Lay gefunden. Letzterer war trotz der Möglichkeit abzusteigen bei seinem Sahib Merkl geblieben, was von der NS-Propaganda geschickt als heroische Opferbereitschaft bis in den Tod dargestellt wurde. Im Sommer 1939 erfolgte eine neuerliche deutsche Erkundungsexpedition zur Nordwest-Seite (Diamir-Flanke). Da während der Rückreise der Mannschaft der zweite Weltkrieg ausbrach, wurden die Teilnehmer (u.a. Peter Aufschnaiter und Heinrich Harrer) interniert. Das folgende Schicksal Harrers und Aufschnaiters wurde 1997 in dem Hollywood-Film "Sieben Jahre in Tibet" verfilmt.

A Bout De Souffle

“When you hear the music you make a dip
Into someone else’s pocket then make a slip.
Steal a car and go to las vegas oh, the gigolo pool.
Hanging out by the state line,
Turning holy water into wine
Drinkin’ it down
I’m on a bus on a psychedelic trip
Reading murder books tryin’ to stay hip.
I’m thinkin’ of you you’re out there so
Say your prayers.
Say your prayers.
Say your prayers.”

The Priest's Penchant

Laocoon, Neptune's priest by lot that year,
With solemn pomp then sacrific'd a steer;
When, dreadful to behold, from sea we spied
Two serpents, rank'd abreast, the seas divide,
And smoothly sweep along the swelling tide.
Their flaming crests above the waves they show;
Their bellies seem to burn the seas below;
Their speckled tails advance to steer their course,
And on the sounding shore the flying billows force.
And now the strand, and now the plain they held;
Their ardent eyes with bloody streaks were fill'd;
Their nimble tongues they brandish'd as they came,
And lick'd their hissing jaws, that sputter'd flame.
We fled amaz'd; their destin'd way they take,
And to Laocoon and his children make;
And first around the tender boys they wind,
Then with their sharpen'd fangs their limbs and bodies grind.
The wretched father, running to their aid
With pious haste, but vain, they next invade;
Twice round his waist their winding volumes roll'd;
And twice about his gasping throat they fold.
The priest thus doubly chok'd, their crests divide,
And tow'ring o'er his head in triumph ride.
With both his hands he labors at the knots;
His holy fillets the blue venom blots;
His roaring fills the flitting air around.

Aeneid, Book II

Tom Waits For No Man

But time wounds all heels.

Not Yet, But Soon...

1. Légionnaire, tu es un volontaire servant la France avec honneur et fidélité.
2. Chaque légionnaire est ton frère d'arme quelle que soit sa nationalité, sa race, sa religion. Tu lui manifestes toujours la solidarité étroite qui doit unir les membres d'une même famille.
3. Respecteux des traditions, attaché a tes chefs, la discipline et la camaraderie sont ta force, le courage et la loyauté tes vertus.
4. Fier de ton état de légionnaire, tu le montres dans ta tenue toujours élégante, ton comportement toujours digne mais modeste, ton casernement toujours net.
5. Soldat d'élite, tu t'entraines avec rigueur, tu entretiens ton arme comme ton bien le plus précieux, tu as le souci constant de ta forme physique.
6. La mission est sacrée, tu l'exécutes jusqu'au bout, à tout prix. Updated Version: La mission est sacrée, tu l'exécutes jusqu'au bout dans le respect des lois, des coutumes de la guerre et des conventions internationales et, si besoin, au péril de ta vie.
7. Au combat, tu agis sans passion et sans haine, tu respectes les ennemis vaincus, tu n'abandonnes jamais ni tes morts, ni tes blesses, ni tes armes.